Monday, November 3, 2014

The Mess That Is Mommy aka Never Take Florinef

The month has been rough.  Actually, I guess it was two months. 

Two months ago,  Lucy began having trouble breathing almost every night.  She would end up in tears regularly and really struggled.  Stephen and I were super stressed, because.... hello!  it's breathing.  You've gotta breath! 

Long story short, many crying nights till 2am, purchased a home spirometer, many Dr appointments: allergist, pediatrician, pulmonologist, and we got a diagnosis.  Vocal chord disfunction.  The treatment?  Breathe through a straw.

Ok so that could have been a lot worse, but the process WAS stressful!

Then Iris passed out 3 times... so yes, she has my syncope.  Stephen is now the only human in the house without a tendency to pass out.  He is overjoyed at this prospect.  But these were just leading up to what is hopefully the grand finale.

It started with a simple back spasm.  I didn't want to miss out on Dollywood, so I went to a clinic and they gave me a muscle relaxer.  Dollywood went off without a hitch, but the next night I was in the ER.

They told me that Florinef, the med I take to keep my blood pressure up, was bleeding me of potassium, which is pretty important for survival.  They gave me potassium, but not enough, because less than 10 hours later I was back in the ER.  I'm not cardiologist TOLD me to go.  They gave me more potassium and sent me home.

Well, you can understand, at this point, I was terrified of taking my florinef.  My cardiologist had always treated it like M&M's.  "Hey, you need more?  Take more"  I had no idea he was supposed to be monitoring my potassium.  So I just stopped taking it.

Four days later I began getting severe cramping around my neck... like some one was choking me.  With the occasional grip on the back of my neck that made me feel like I needed to crawl out of my body or knock myself out or something.  I can do nothing but lay still and try to stay calm.  But my blood pressure shoots sky high (unheard of for me) and my heart races, I get the shakes all over and nausea.

This has not been easy on Stephen and the kids.  Iris is fairly certain I'm not going to be around much longer and they have all had crying spells.  And I don't know how to calm them down.  I do my best, but I'm trying not to freak out myself.

I'm supposed to be seeing a psychologist soon.  I never thought I'd say this, but I am SO eager to see him!  I am just ready for some help.  Is it withdrawal, do I just need more potassium than the average bear, am I suddenly going insane?

But last night I had my worst spell yet and went to the ER.  They were most unhelpful.  My potassium was at the very bottom of 'normal' which they admitted was relative, but they didn't give me any.  BUT, my internist called Stephen this morning and said he was going to double my potassium and my anxiety meds until I got in with my psychiatrist.  Woo-hoo!  Thank-you Dr T!!

ALL PRAYERS MUCH APPRECIATED!!  I really covet them!  There are so many people I'm trying to pray for myself, and I've been feeling like a lousy person, because I haven't been able to help some of my friends that I know need help.  I do get out on the occasional good few hours, but I'm normally escorted by my Mom, my Sherry, my Stephen or my Amy ;)

We're just clinging to the hope for normalcy right now.  School is suffering, as are the people around me, as am I.  I try to remember that God disciplines those he loves and that suffering produces endurance,  and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.  

And I'm hoping we all gain from this what God wants us to gain.  But I'm also hoping it ends soon!!

Thanks for reading!

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